By Rabbi Ephraim Piekarski
1. So Yankel is walking in the rain carrying a folded umbrella, and Berel stops him and says; "Yankel why don't you open your umbrella, it is raining?"
Yankel responds: "It is full of holes."
Berel asks incredulously, "So why are you carrying it?!"
Yankel replies sincerely: "I did not think it was going to rain!" (laugh)
2. There are two מאמרי חז"ל that seem to contradict each other. We say that אין אדם מת וחצי תאוותו בידו meaning that a person when he passes away does not even have half of what he desires. On the other hand there is a רז"ל that מי שיש לו מנה רוצה מאתיים; one who has a hundred wants (only) two hundred; indicating that he has חצי תאוותו (he has the one hundred and only wants an additional hundred).
Zaidy resolved this contradiction. The meaning of מי שיש לו מנה רוצה מאתיים does not mean he merely wants another hundred but rather he wants an additional two hundred (for a total of three hundred), therefore he does not own חצי תאוותו.
3. We find another contradiction in human nature. When one is young , he expends all his energy on making money regardless of the adverse effects on his health; indicating that wealth is more important than health. When one is older he confiscates all his money to protect and improve his health; indicating that health is more important than wealth. Now which way is it?!
Zaidy to the rescue! It all depends where the money is. If the money is in someone else's pocket then you sacrifice all you health to retrieve the money and place it in your pocket, when the money is in your pocket then it loses its importance and you squander it on your health.
4. There is an ancient debate as to what makes the tea sweet, is it the sugar or the mixing with the spoon. We know it will not become sweet by merely adding sugar without mixing, and it will not become sweet by mixing alone without adding sugar. This debate raged for many centuries until wise men decided that it is the mixing that makes it sweet; the only reason we add sugar is to know when to stop mixing (when the sugar dissolves).
This resolution held until Zaidy came along and disproved it, arguing that if it is the mixing that sweetens the tea and the sugar tells us when to stop mixing, why do we not add salt to the tea and mix till it dissolves. The debate still rages on!
5. The professer of public speaking was reviewing a speech prepared by one of his students to be delivered at an occasion. the professor was making notes in the margin to teach his student how to properly deliver the speech. This is what he wrote: 'lower your voice', "pause for effect", turn to the sides", etc. etc. At one paragraph he commented; "argument weak, yell like hell!"
"Quotable Quotes of Zaidy"
Quote "Shoemaker stick to your last" (a last is a tool used by shoemakers).
Quote "אויב דו האבסט ניט וואס דו ליבסט, ליב וואס דו האבסט". If you do not have what you love, love what you have!
Quote "No", is the beginning of negotiations and ultimately a good deal'.
Quote (later years): I am semi-retired; I work only twelve hours a day!
